| June 26, 2006 Detour Ahead
By Sharon Autry
(Taken from Hold You, Mommy, Week 6, Day 5)
We were clashing about everything: clothes, hairstyles, being upside down more than right side up, rolling eyes and disrespectful remarks to my husband and me. Anything I said made her angry and that made me furious! I was trying to think of something to say to her that would be considered, "praise," but I wasn't coming up with much! How we had ended up here, on this bumpy detour? I didn't know. Panic set in as I wondered, "If she's like this at eight, what will the teen years hold for us?!?
A couple of days into this relationship detour, we had dinner with some friends. After we left, their eighteen year old son commented to his mom, "There's just something special about her (my daughter)." The next day my friend called me and passed on the compliment. My mouth dropped open. "What?" I wanted to say. "Are we talking about the same demanding, argumentative kid?" ("...how good is a timely word." Proverbs 15:23b)
The rest of the day, I looked at my daughter differently. I had been missing her. She wasn't the only one who was on this demanding and disagreeable detour! In fact, I think I had driven her there!! (Pun completely intended!) That little bit of praise from a trusted friend changed my perspective. I shared the comment with my daughter and she beamed!
From that experience, I learned some things. First, when I have a good word to pass on to another mom about her kids, I need to share it. Instead of noticing the negative things, praising the good qualities I see in her child might rescue that mom from a deep struggle she is having with her child.
Second, passing on that compliment gives that kid an "I believe in you," message that they could be longing for. When you hear those words as a kid, they have a way of sticking for all of your life.
Finally, I realized that if I'm on that disagreeable road with one of my kids, I need to try to see it as a detour. Detours are time-consuming, confusing and bumpy, but they eventually wind around and get back to the main road. If you're there with one of yours, let God guide you so that you can guide your children.
I realized from the encouraging words of my friends that my daughter is amazing! You should meet her! There really is something special about her! Be encouraged. Your kids are amazing, too!
Father, help me see when I have the opportunity to share encouragement with another mom. Remind me to tell my children about the compliments that others give me about them. And give me the endurance I need to see these detours for what they are, detours, not the finished road. Encourage me, Lord, with the words I need about my children. Please fill me with hope, Lord. In Jesus' name, Amen
"Mama Drama"
1. Call a friend and share with her something you like about her child. If you can't think of anything, ask God to show you.
2. Make a list of the things that you know are special about your child. Post it on your fridge for all (including your child) to see.
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Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!
for all who are praying for our cousin, Sydney. A little update follows below. But please keep her in your prayers!
Sydney's final bone marrow biopsy result came in: NO CANCER. As a matter of fact, all three test results were GREAT!
Praise the Lord!
If you would like to see how she is doing and how to pray specifically, go to www.sydneythweatt.com
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