July 31 , 2007

Making Dating a Game

Spending one-on-one time with your kids

“Be very careful then how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity…” Ephesians 5:15-16

Last week I took Crislynn (age 7) on a date.  She's the middle child so she's learned that she doesn't always get to say what she wants.  She asked me all day, “How many hours until we go?”, to which I would reply, 8 hours, 7 ½ hrs. 7 hrs. and 15 min….  You get the idea! Before we left, she decided we needed to match.  So, we were coordinated from the clip in our hair to the high-heeled shoes on our feet! (She was thrilled that I let her wear her hot pink dress-up heels!)

The ride to the dollar theater was one long sentence.  She talked the entire way.  We should have paid for only one seat at the theater because she sat in my lap for most of the movie.  We really had a great time.  I loved it almost as much as she did!

Having our kids one-on-one isn't just good for them.  It allows us to see them differently without the context, or rather the contest, of their siblings.  Sibling rivalry is a real thing and kids need a break from it.  Parents need a break from it, too!  If you haven't had one-on-one time with your kids lately, plan something (it doesn't have to be expensive or take tons of time.  We were gone for three hours.)  If your kids are young, resist the temptation to think, “I'll do it tomorrow.”  Tomorrow their time will be busier.  We'll be fighting not only our schedules, but their agenda as well.

Here are 12 free or inexpensive ideas for dates that you could use this summer:

•  Jump on the trampoline (if you don't have one, ask a neighbor.)

•  Shop for an inexpensive toy for their sibling.

•  Split a meal at a restaurant.

•  Take one kid swimming or play in the water sprinkler

•  Go to the library or a bookstore and read

•  If you have girls, get your nails painted (a polish for kids is usually $5)

•  Go to a linen/bed and bath store and sit in their display massage chairs

•  Take your dog on a walk together

•  Have dinner at home then go to the $1 movie and get ice cream after.

•  Color together

•  Exercise together

•  Cook together…make cookies for the siblings!

Sometimes it's hard to get the conversation started.  Here are some things I have asked my kids.  Maybe they'll be helpful for you, too.

•  “What is your favorite food, game, thing to do, song, etc?” (Share your favorites, too.)

•  “What makes you happy, sad, or excited?” (Don't forget to tell them what makes you happy, sad, etc.)

•  “What do you love about your brother/sister?”

•  “What are your struggles in your relationship with your brother or sister?” (Then, you can pray about those things together.)

Enjoy the rest of summer, and Happy Dating!!

-Sharon

Dear Lord,

We want to get to know our kids.  Life is busy.  We are easily distracted.  Help us not miss the opportunities to spend time with them.  Would you remind us to make time with them and when we do, please bless our conversations with each other.  Thank you for loving us.  Teach us how to love our children.  In Jesus' name…